I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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