look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
