sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
