The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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