Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
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