everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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