the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
