fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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