I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
