you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
