we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
