He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
