My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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