I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
