so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
