She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
