6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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