thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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