He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
