the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
