yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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