i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
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that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
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First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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