So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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