My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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