so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize