he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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