Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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