I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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