I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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