just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
