no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
