whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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