About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
People in love make me want to vomit
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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