Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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