so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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