you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
