Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize