I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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