Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
