ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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