I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
did you just send me my own nude
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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