my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
