Im at strip club and am horny
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize