He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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