I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize