I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?