One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
