Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
