So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize