Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
