tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
