I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
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don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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