4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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