Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
