if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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