The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
