Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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