I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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