Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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