I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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