Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
