yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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